Expression is therapy, so I’ve decided to write about the last 5 days...

Now I’ve been through some crazy moments. Moments when I thought I was going to die, but this incident involving my daughter outweighs every moment I thought was tough. Last Saturday, my curious little girl decided to put hand sanitizer in an infant’s Tylenol syringe. Her intentions were to invent a new way of squirting hand sanitizer onto her hands. Unfortunately, this invention backfired when it shot into her eye, burning a few layers down.

I was working out at the time. I don’t know how many times I wished I just waited until my husband came home to do my 20 minute workout, but if I wasn’t working out, I could have been in the shower, doing the dishes or laundry. Me working out was nothing ordinary. Normally, she’s coloring nearby or playing with her brothers, reading or doing her homework online. As much as I coach my kids, I also trust that they can play independently for a short period of time. Typically, I can hear everything and nothing estrange ever happens, except this time.

When we arrived the emergency room, we literally walked strait passed the check-in desk, passed the nurses station and onto the bed. The nurse was in the room within seconds and the Dr. was in the room within 3 maybe 5 minutes. Typically ER experiences involve a lot of waiting, but not for my princess. I guess you can say royalty matters when you belong to the kingdom. After several flushes, we were sent home with eye drops and told to follow-up with an eye specialist on Monday. So first thing on MLK Monday, I jumped on the phone to make an appointment with a specialist. After several calls with a baby on my hip and my wounded girl in my bed, I found one who said, “Can you head here now?”

Not really the words I wanted to hear because dealing with a baby and a severely wounded child was an intense juggle – Breakfast-Get dressed-Soothe Wound-Get baby bag-Fill cup and Mom’s you get the point….  However, I was grateful that they made Princess Rianna a priority. Typically I consider myself well put together, but on this morning when we made it to the doctor’s office I was a little frazzled. Trying to entertain this baby and listen to the doctor give his prognosis was uncomfortable. Not to mention the way he looked me up and down and all around when my daughter explained what happened. People will judge you way before they try to learn you. It is what it is… However, it doesn’t change what I believe about myself.

Now this experience turned into a prayer issue because I needed to make sure that my daughter was not only in good hands, but in the RIGHT hands. Lord, please don’t allow his judgements of us affect his willingness to be a good doctor. It’s fair to say I spend a lot of time thinking in my head, but it’s for good reasoning. He ended up patching her eye and suggested for us to return the next day with hopes that it would all be better.

Early the next morning, the GPS showed RED all over the map. Immediately, I felt a still-small voice telling control-freak me, “Don’t be alarmed by the RED, just keep traveling …” In other words, don’t be discouraged by the doctor’s report, trust me! Needless to say, the Doctor’s report wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t encouraging either. ---Once again--- Never put your trust in man, lean on God’s word until the final end. The doctor stated that her eye needed to heal from the bottom up, so it was hard for him to determine if progress was made. Although her eye was still very red, Rianna said that it didn’t hurt as bad as the previous day. That was progress for me.

Later that night was rough. She woke up with excruciating pain. And unfortunately, there was NOTHING I could do to take away her pain. It was such a helpless feeling for me to see and hear my baby in piercing pain and not able to do anything about it. I wish I could’ve experienced it for her. So for those hard moments, I taught her how to empower her mental state with “I am strong! I am healed! God loves me! Mommy loves me! And Lord I trust you…..” Such a great life tool to learn at 8 years old. I admit that I am totally proud of how she has handled everything up to this point.

This morning she woke up with a little sense of humor. Makes me cry and laugh at the same time. She also opened her eye wider when we put medicine in it. Still red, and still a little swollen, but Lord, we TRUST YOU! Yesterday I looked at old pictures and questioned will she look the same again? Will her eye reposition? Will she have vision? Question after question…  Thought after thought… STOP!   NOTHING can make this situation disappear! What’s done is done! I realize we have to live through this moment, embrace each other’s warmth and TRUST God’s message in Isaiah 41:10 - Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. The closer I am to God, the more I become excited to see Him lift my baby girl up in his VICTORIOUS RIGHT HAND, SO I’m GONNA PUT A PRAAAAISE ON IT!!!!!! We stand on this—UNTIL THE FINAL END.

 

 "Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happyness and just be happy." 



She climbed the top of the mountain only to find there was still more to climb. But this time, she was prepared for the high."

 

It's been a minute since I really posted on here. I guess I'm busy livin "the good life," these dayz.... ☺️ I feel really grateful and very blessed because 4 years ago I made a "choice" NOT to let my life circumstances kill me. (Some people lean on alcohol, drugs...) I could have easily chose the point-blame route, but instead I accepted responsibility for my past-poor choices. (We all gotta learn, I'm just brave to admit it.)

Since I was a born a CHAMPION, I made the choice and pulled myself up every-dam-day of my life because not only do my kids deserve the best version of me, but I deserve the best version of me! (I once learned, if you want to be successful, surround yourself with success and BE Successful!)

As I continue pulling myself up towards the mountain top, I look down from time to time and smile... HARD WORK REWARDS and the view only gets better the higher you become! 😉😘💪🏽

#BeInspired #ThoughtsByJayeRose #MomzRockFitness #WildRoses

Organically My Smile Peeked Through the Clouds...

I have a confession to make... As much as I preach to my peers about the importance of “keeping it real,” I Jessica Hicks failed to eat my own words…  And as a result, I began feeling breathless, hopeless and just plain ol’ depressed. Oh that big D word can bring a mama downnnnn in the dark, if she lets it. Yes, I let depression bring me down to the point where my body was convulsing over a prescription drug. Somewhere in my cluttered mind, I actually hoped that this pharmaceutical drug would magically make my problems disappear. Ha ha silly me, nothing magically goes away… 
I laid in my bed one sunny afternoon and cried the terror out of my heart. “What am I doing wrong?” I thought. I’m crying out to God every freeking night, BUSTING my ass to make my life go right. Putting on a fake smile, while making myself go through uncomfortable situations, so that it does go right…  Yet there I was feeling the daunting symptoms of stress. Apparently I wasn’t doing it right because prayer time with God became me rehearsing my problems over and over and over again. I learned that problem rehearsal makes a disturbing performance of problems ruling your life.  

So how does one make it better? Surrender my dear, surrender! Don’t run from your problems, accept them and run through them. That is when I let my problems create a beautiful masterpiece of ME! I accepted my failures for what they were and truly embraced my life for where it was.  I looked back at my lifeline and became proud of myself! Don’t ever tell yourself what life is supposed to be like. Life is exactly as it should be. When my body eliminated the remnants of the prescription drug, my future became more clear. One day I heard a soft voice say, "You are a Business Woman!” Such a hard concept for ol’ me of little faith to believe. But "live the life you want," kept echoing in my mind, until it became BOLD-- LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT JESS!  

 Soon after that moment, I began having uncomfortable conversations. One morning I went to the billion-dollar company I’m partnered with and told a Director that I was “there for a paycheck.” It was so raw, so blunt yet so sincere. I meant no disrespect. I just had to keep it real because the lie I told them was eating me up. I’m not a liar, but when a person desperately needs a job and a good one, you’re going to say what you need to say to get it, right? In my case it was dishonest for me to let them believe that I had intentions of climbing their company ladder, when I had every intention of being there for just a moment of time. Bold move for ol’ me of little faith, but listening to that soft voice worked out for my good!  We ended up renegotiating some things and just like that, one of my problems was solved!

From that point forward, I’ve made the decision to unapologetically live life on MY terms. And since I’ve made that decision, I can honestly say that I am whole-heartedly living free………  No matter how desperate you think you need something, always speak from the depth of your soul. And be confident about it. Someone once told me, “Be true to yourself.” You don’t have to dishonor yourself to say or do what you think others want to hear or see from you. When you invite dishonesty into your life, no matter how hard you try to move forward, your lie will just keep holding you back...

 

 

*I shared a piece of my personal life to inspire you. Although prescription drugs did not work for me, it may do wonders for you! Please continue to do what you feel is best for you and be a ROCKSTAR about it!   -xo

"My name is Jazz."

When I was a little girl my mom signed me up for basketball. I quit when the ball hit me in the face. Then she signed me up for swimming. I cried on the side of the pool, until she made me jump in. Even though I became an expert swimmer, it just wasn’t my thiiing! And so I kept on and kept on exploring... One day I met “Jazz.” Jazz was special. Jazz gave me all the glitz and glam and all my PIZAZZzzzzz. She made-me-feel-so sparkly-so loose- so free……. At last I found myself! (Shout out to Joselito!!!!  My first dance instructor ever! Still Fly! Still Funky! And Still FRESHHHhhh! Check out his studio in Kent,WA!)



So anyway, I twirled along and signed up for every talent show in sight. Landed on the cheer squad in high school, but when D’s landed on my papers, I landed on my ass. Dream dead. With no vision and no direction, I got lost. Throughout college I participated in aerobics class after class after class… Then one day I flew across country and landed in the bible-belt.

I walked around in “Woa-Mode” for a long time. Trying to adjust from city livin’ to country livin’, but not totally country because I told my husband NO Farms! NO confederate flags! I was open to the new life, because Atlanta’s culture life is the BoMb! I love meeting people and food from different parts of the globe…  I always tell people Seattle raised me, but Atlanta made. Boy or boy…. If you only knew the HELL I went thru… Panic-stricken-paralyzed by fear. Until one day, I met Jesus.  Growing up I wasn’t a Sunday school girl, but living in bible-belt, it became a thing we did every single Sunday. I studied the bible as if my life depended on it because well it did, until I lost my self-identity in religion.



Trying to make Atlanta-life the norm, fit in, meet new people, figure this mom/wife thing out….  The major question I had for myself was “Who the hell am I?” After 9 years of raising my babies at home, I learned that I am meant to work for myself—  After having baby #3, his name is Noah by the way and I AM IN TOTAL LOoooVE!!!!!!!! Thank you God! Having him stirred up the passion inside me and resurrected a DREAM! It revived the little girl who found herself on the studio floor.  Only this time, I know the purpose behind it and I WON’T STOP UNTIL I’M TEARING IT UP ON MY OWN FLOOR.



*This is dedicated to the dreamers… And the doers. No matter how much of life has passed, as long as your breathing, you still have a shot! Get up! Get out! And Go Get It!  

#ThoughtsbyJayeRose  #WildRoses  #MomzROCK

Today I had a vision I was standing on top of a mountain looking at the next mountain. In between mountains, I saw a deep-dark-valley. Today God resurrected a dream of mine. This was a dream that I let go of a while back because of "life's current circumstances." Just because things don't happen "your way" doesn't mean they won't happen. When your walking through the deep-dark-valley sometimes illness comes, sometimes complacency comes, and sometimes plain ol' life just happens... Doesn't mean you can't get to that next mountain top. Remember, in order to get to it, you must go "through it!"

 

#StayFocused #StayDisciplined #NOoneCanKeepYouFromTheDesiresOfYourHeart

"Doubt is a thief who steals your dreams from you..."

Remember that every time your thoughts try to bully you with "It's too hard, or it seems impossible, I can't do that..."  If you think you can, then that's all you need to know. Period.

I thought for sure by 36 I would have it all together, but God reminded me this morning that I do have it all together! I've gained all the experience I need to set out on this passionate-wild dream of mine that has finally come together. You see, to the average eye, I look to be all over the place... (Chuckle) Dreamers and doers take risks alone.


I'm thankful for my few sister-gems who see beyond what they hear from my mouth and for supporting me the way that they do. This morning's workout was not going to happen because my mind was telling me, "I'm too tired."  It wasn't until I imagined my gem-sistas working out viciously and then it happened. I rolled outta bed and put on my FIGHT!


Surround yourself with like-minded people, so that they can lift you up when you feel down.

#NeverGiveUp #ThoughtsByJayeRose #WildRose #MomzRock!